Recently, I was talking with a preaching friend. During our conversation, I told him a story of my days when attending school at a west Texas Christian university. When I was going there, I would go through periods of deep depressions and loneliness. My hormones were kicking and my sexual drive was in high gear. During those dark and dreadful times, I would hang out at the local pornography establishment near downtown. It certainly did not begin for me there; as I recall, I saw my first porn in my sleepy-eyed hometown in Mississippi.
These were stinky, smoke filled, clandestine and dark places. The behaviors that went on there were vile, unthinkable and disgusting; nevertheless, I was there prowling in the midst. Even when I came back to the big city, Dallas, the same sinful and awful habits followed me.
Interestingly, it always happened to me no matter where I was, somebody, somewhere would come up to me and say, “Hey ain’t you a preacher? You look like a preacher.” Like the apostle Peter, often I would deny it and quietly sink deeper into the shadows. I used to think to myself. I know God in heaven is saying, “Gotcha!” Moreover, the guilt and shame would overwhelm me, and my bleeding conscience would once again crush myself-esteem, my person. I failed as a Christian and the devil won. I never felt better for going, just as an addict clings to heroin or cocaine, this addiction was in my veins as well. Always at night, it would summon me and like a lamb to its emotional slaughter, I willingly bowed in submission to its lure.
Today, and some twenty years later I understand the grace of God a bit better. I know now, he was sending me a message. However, “Gotcha” did not mean what I thought. I always thought it meant I was caught, and I was in trouble; you know, caught red-handed. No, it means exactly what he said, “I’ve gotcha and nobody is snatching you from my grip!” Listen to Jesus, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.”
It is though He was speaking to me, even in that place where I existed, during that period of my life. Even there, where I allowed my journey to go and my story to include - He the Lord, the Almighty was with me. He always promised it; remember? King David said it well, “Ye, though I walk through the shadow of death…thou art with me.” God is not a God that abandons us through our darkest struggles He is an abiding God. What kind of God would He be to run out on us when we are struggling, what a wimp! That is not my God.
Remember your Bible stories of Joshua and the Battle of Jericho, Daniel in the Lion’s Den, and who can forget David and Goliath? All these testify of a steadfastness God. In our darkest hour, our loneliest of times He is the Light, who illuminates our spirit. He gives us hope. Only with him can we be led from the slaughter. He is the one directs our paths even from those undesirable places; we cannot do it on our own. This is G.R.A.C.E. – God Reaching, Abiding, Clutching, and Embracing his wayward and wandering child.
To me, he says, no matter what pit you crawl around in, no matter what pool of filth you find yourself. You are mine. I have you, and I love you. Benny, when you in believed, confessed and put me on in baptism, I made a promise to you – you cannot make me break my promise. No matter what you do, where you go or even with whom you did it. I am a faithful friend, Father and God. Remember, I’ve Gotcha!
Now, if there is a relevant message to the young men and women who identify with the sexual issues that have arisen in “hot” Atlanta, let me assure you God is faithful and his grace is sufficient. Remember, this is no problem with him, or for him. This, he has seen before, and I am sure anticipates it again. Heaven and even Hell is prepared for such debauchery.
What is called for is repentance. We all know what the word teaches about such matters, it is clear. It does not need to be debated or argued; sex outside of marriage is sin and wrong. Whether it is with the same sex or not, it is a sin. Period. One has missed the mark (sin) of what God has intended for their lives.
Now, I know we get caught up in many things, and deep, even romantic and emotional “feelings” get involved, and we look for loopholes. However, the word from God is still sure. It does not change, and that is a good thing. We can count on it staying consistent when all around us things seem to be changing, and norms are all out of whack. God's word stands as a stabilizer to the uncertain, to the unsure, to the weak, to the fallen…. to the one needing help. The Word points the way through this maze of confusion. Even the word says God is not the author of confusion. Hey, if he isn’t, who is?
I know this sounds out dated and some might say uncompassionate. In such a permissive era that we live today, it might even sound intolerant and old fashion. Surely, God is not so demanding, is he? Well, to answer this, go read the first three or four chapters in the Bible, Genesis and then ask again.
God is not that mean, nor is He vindictive – He knows what is best for us, and He shares this in the Word. Even when we are chasing wildly after sin, God loves us. Nevertheless, disobedience has its consequence and unless we repent, the love of God calls forth the wrath of God upon all unrighteousness.
Therefore, let God speak to your spirit wherever you are, whatever place you happen to find yourself now. Remember, God’s Gotcha Always!
©2010 Ben Walls
